Dear Abby: Blackmailed by Sister-in-Law
This guy is screwed. I mean, not because of the sister-in-law thing, but... read the last paragraph....
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, I had an affair with a woman. I'll call her "Desiree." As luck would have it, a few years later, Desiree became my sister-in-law.
My wife has always been jealous of her "more attractive" sister. She reminds me of that fact every time we visit. Now Desiree is having money problems, and she's threatening to tell my wife about our "history" if I don't accommodate her needs.
My marriage already is on thin ice because I ran over my wife's dog and forgot our anniversary in the same week. What should I do?
— Blackmailed in Burbank
DEAR BLACKMAILED: If you knuckle under to your sister-in-law's threats, her money problems will be over and you will be paying her off for the duration of your marriage. Be smart. Nip this in the bud by telling your wife everything. It isn't your fault that you met her sister first. You should thank your lucky stars that you wound up marrying the right one.
The answer here reminds me so much of the John Prine song:
Dear Blackmailed, Dear Blackmailed
You have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, Dear Abby.
